The Cupcake Time Diet

Cupcake Time Diet Is Here!
At long last, our diet is ready for you to enjoy!  Remember this diet incorporates all of the successes you would enjoy using the Satan Diet but it extends it – and lets you enjoy one sweet treat everyday so you can stick to your diet.  How can this work? You say. Well.  Science News recently published an 8 month study that actually added a sweet to breakfast for the experimental group but those people otherwise followed the same diet as the control group.  Guess what.  At month 4 all dieters had lost pretty much the same amount of weight (33 pounds each) but in the last 4 months of the diet, the control group people gained 22 of those pounds back while the people who ate dessert with breakfast lost another 15 pounds each!

Here are the details of the Cupcake Time Diet:

Daily:

  1. You get one cupcake and one egg each morning. Both must be eaten before 10:30 a.m.  If you miss the time, don’t eat the cupcake.  Save it for tomorrow.
  2. Note the time of day you take your first bite of food. You have 10 hours from that time to eat (this is your Food Day). For example, if you take your first bite of cupcake at 8 a.m., you have until 6 p.m. to eat. After that, it’s just water or tea for you, Missy.

After 10:30 a.m. your diet is different each day.

  • Day 1:  Eat all the fruit you want with the exception of bananas. Do not eat any bananas.  Eating melons will help you lose the most weight since they are mostly water. Note this does not say drink juices – you have to eat the fruit.
  • Day 2:  Eat vegetables all day long.  Avoid peas, corn, and beans. Eat one baked potato today. The vegetables can be raw, cooked, frozen – whatever you desire.
  • Day 3: Eat a combination of the same types of fruits and vegetables you have eaten during the past two days – minus the baked potato.
  • Day 4:  Eat all the fruit you want with the exception of bananas. Do not eat any bananas.  Eating melons will help you lose the most weight since they are mostly water.
  • Day 5:  Eat vegetables all day long.  Avoid peas, corn, and beans. You can have one baked potato today. The vegetables can be raw, cooked, frozen – whatever you desire.
  • Day 6:  Eat a combination of the same fruits and vegetables you have eaten during the past two days – minus the baked potato. At lunchtime eat some red meat – a hamburger, steak, or other meat that will provide you with protein. Eat it before hour 6 of your Food Day.
  • Day 7: Eat a combination of the same fruits and vegetables you have eaten during the past two days – minus the baked potato.
  • Day 8: Eat up to 6 bananas and 6 servings of low fat milk or yogurt. Yes, the yogurt can be flavored. No, the milk cannot be chocolate.  Bananas sliced into a bowl of milk can be a tasty breakfast as long as you don’t add refined sugar.
  • Day 9: Eat all of the chicken and turkey you want today. You can have the chicken roasted, boiled, or fried; just remember the better choices you make will result in more weight loss. You also must eat 6 medium sized tomatoes (this is important). Drink a full glass of water with each tomato to rid your body of uric acid. Eating a tomato with the meat is a great idea.
  • Day 10: Eat up to 6 bananas and 6 servings of low fat milk or yogurt. Yes, the yogurt can be flavored. No, the milk cannot be chocolate. Bananas sliced into a bowl of milk can be a tasty breakfast as long as you don’t add refined sugar.
  • Day 11: Eat all the chicken and turkey you want today.  You can have the chicken roasted, boiled, or fried; just remember the better choices you make will result in more weight loss. You also must eat 6 medium sized tomatoes (this is important). Drink a full glass of water with each tomato to rid your body of uric acid. Eating a tomato with the meat is a great idea.
  • Day 12: Eat chicken, turkey, pork chops, and vegetables all day long to your heart’s content. Avoid potatoes but feel free to eat any other vegetable. The less meat you eat the greater your weight loss.
  • Day 13: Eat Ultimate Soup all day long. Nothing else. This might be hard but after today you’re finished!

 A few tips:

  • If at all possible, buy organic. This will help your body with chelation since this diet is healthy and will also act as a cleansing diet.
  • Be sure you shop at least a day ahead so you have your food for the day.  Nothing kills this diet like not having the right food available when you’re hungry.
  • The ten hour Food Day is to aid your body in producing ghrelin appropriately. You need to get used to actually having an evening fast.
  • If you are up late and feel hungry, go to bed. Do not break your night time fast. Your body is only asking for more energy because you are up past your bedtime.
  • No alcoholic drinks or sodas during this two week period. Period.
  • You can only have the cupcake and the egg before 10:30 a.m. because your body converts food to energy most efficiently during the morning.  If you crave sweets, convince yourself to wait until tomorrow morning. You can do it!
  • You can substitute a muffin for the cupcake if you’d like.  Bran muffins are full of fiber, moist, and tasty. This recipe also make a ton and you can store the batter in the fridge so you can whip out a batch in the middle of the week in the time it takes to cook them.
  • If you are getting shaky or have hypoglycemia, email us. We’ll give you a few ideas on what you can do without ruining your opportunity to lose weight.
  • As much as we love Crumb’s cupcakes we must mention that one crumbs cupcake really counts as two cupcakes, so cut it in half and save some of that deliciousness for tomorrow!  We’d love to eat the whole thing but eating a giant-ass cupcake will give you well….

Too Much Of A Good Thing

Cupcake Time Diet and Larry Craig's Wide StanceWe are ready to reveal our Cupcake Time Diet!  But before we do that, we need to have a very serious talk with you. So listen up.

This diet works! It’s loosely based on the Satan Diet because we wanted to keep it successful, simple, and sweet. You get a treat every day if you want one so you don’t have to cheat! But there is a drawback to this diet that we want you to be aware of right off the bat.  Well, first a little background.

We were merrily losing weight and eating cupcakes every morning. It was great to lose weight while also not feeling deprived. We talked about adding some exercise (you know, just to mix things up a bit) when suddenly our world went nuts.

We aren’t sure how or why but everything that can go wrong is going wrong in our lives!  OMG when is enough enough? We’ll have to get back to you on that because we are still too busy putting out large fires (not small fires, mind you) on a twice daily basis.  These crises have impacted most aspects of our lives and have kept us hopping (and often staring at ceiling tiles by the end of the day saying, “dah, dah, dah” and finally going to bed).  Take these past couple of days for example.

We headed to New York for Brooke’s birthday brunch and had a tire blow out on the freeway; which was surprising because the tires are quite new. Luckily, Jake and Emma were with us so we got the tire changed and were on our way pretty quickly. (Thank you to the very nice man on the motorcycle who stopped to see if we were all okay. We hope you read this and know who you are.) We stopped at the next town because Sherry didn’t want to be driving that far with that ugly baby spare tire on her car – it’s not super safe and very uncool. The tire company (after a few false starts and a few errors) discovered our poor car had a big big problem.  Our little car had what some Senators are still calling a Wide Stance. However, our car wasn’t forced out of office – the wide stance forced it to run on the inside of the tires so one had blown out and the other rear tire had steel belts coming through the tire on the inside rim. They advised us to purchase a second new tire (which we did) and to keep the car out of the men’s bathroom (if you get our drift). We promise, this solicitation was valid and legal. Haha

We got back on the road and realized it was too late for Emma to keep our brunch date as she had a date with her internship so we zipped her to work (which is actually funnier than our wide stance joke if you’ve ever tried to drive cross-town in New York rush hour) and headed to the Upper West Side for what would now be a belated lunch. Not to be so.

On 57th and 1st Ave the car died. It just died. Dead. No horn, no windows, no nothing.  Kind of like the foreseeable political career of Carlos Danger.  What? How can the battery be dead when it’s a new battery?!? What is going on?  No time to think about that as the entire city of New York was honking at us. No pressure whatsoever.  Jake is a strong guy! He pushed the car out of traffic and to the side of the street while a very nice police lady held the traffic for us.  Again, a nice man came to our aid but this time he had no motorcycle.  With the assistance of AAA, we had the car safely towed (dead alternator and battery and all) for the evening. Have you ever needed a car repair in Manhattan? If you do, let us know – we know the very best shop (and have every single credit card and piggy bank on hand because repairs aren’t inexpensive there).

Our well-planned and much anticipated brunch had become a late dinner. Thai food.  But still a day. Which leads to our warning.

When life keeps handing you lemons and you are sick to death of making lemonade and you are tired of throwing them at everybody, you might seek comfort and solace in food. We were making our own cupcakes – one batch was taking care of roughly a week of eating on the Cupcake Time Diet. So, when life get rough with you, you need to throw those cupcakes in the garbage and stop the diet immediately. Seek comfort in the arms of a loved one, a good book, impotent anger at the world, or That 70s Show but don’t wreck your success at weight loss!  Like. We. Did.    There you are warned.

The next time you hear from us (if we live through the night) it will be to present our newly developed diet plan with you!  We are so excited!!!  And the car? Our local mechanic says it is time to force that resignation after all – which has led to even more lemon stories if you can believe that!

(Don’t Be) Fat Like Me

Hips-to-Waist Measure can help after Satan Diet and Cupcake Time DietOkay, our culture always tells us we’re fat. Or flat. Or something else is wrong with our bodies.  You find yourself calculating your BMI (3 different ways), standing on the scales, and measuring everything. But what does it mean? How do you compare yourself to normal when everybody has a different normal standard?  Maybe you’re fat by one measure but in the okay range by another.  So confusing!

We think everyone should choose a measure and stick with it.  Do you feel that your weight in no way reflects whether you’re looking good or not? Don’t do it!  Calculate your BMI instead. Or, as an alternative, you can do a quick calculation of your hips-to-waist ratio.  A normal woman should have a hip to waist ratio of about .70 and studies show that when a man sees a woman walking down the street, this is the woman he will deem most attractive. But society tells us that’s fat.  When asked what hip-to-waist ratio is desirable, women come up with an answer closer to .50 and men tend to agree if they’re viewing silhouettes of women.  For some reason, women have been lead to believe the optimal .70 ratio is bad for them. In reality, the .70 ratio is what women need to correctly regulate their hormonal cycles.

Runners, gymnasts, dancers, and other unusually active women will often sport the svelte <.50 look – and their cycles will stop. We’re betting you’ve enviously gazed at one of these women at one time or another and wished you were there. Stawwp! Over thin is not healthy.

Let’s do this together.  Take a measuring tape and measure your hips and your waist. Now, using your favorite calculator, enter waist/hips = hip-to-waist ratio. What’s yours?

Brooke’s is good. Sherry’s is too! Thanks to the Satan Diet and our newly developed Cupcake Time Diet she has lost enough weight to put her in the range of this measure!  A healthy female body should be in the range of .65  – .85.  Anything above the .85 is too fat and anything below the .65 is too thin for optimal female health.  Dieting can help bring weight up or down but who wants to diet for their entire lives? Not us!

 Non-Dieting Lifestyle Choices To Maintain a Healthy Weight

 

  • Drink Water. It is amazing to really take stock of what you drink and how it impacts your weight. Many of us drink juices, milk, smoothies, sodas, and alcohol; never even thinking of drinking a glass of water. Figure out how you like yours – hot, warm, cold, with lemon, with cucumbers, or naked – and drink that water!  Water flushes your body of toxins, carries unneeded calories out of your body, and keeps you feeling full. Drinks full of sugar and/or caffeine work against your plans for a healthy, happy body. Alcohol may make you happy but eventually you’ll have to sober up and see what it did you.

 

  • Eat.  And you thought we’d say don’t eat. No way! You need to eat; just be choosy in what you choose to eat. Ditch the refined sugars (again) and load up on fresh vegetables and tasty fruits while watching your portions on breads, meats, and dairy and your body will respond by treating you to good health and (eventually) a body that hits the hip-to-waist ratio goal. Eat three meals a day or six – it’s really up to you as long as you remember to Not eat six meals that are the same size as the three meal deals.

 

  • Use Weights in Your Exercise Routine. Cardio is great for your heart and circulatory systems. Weight training breaks down stored muscle glycogen so it actually helps you to burn carbs faster than the couch potato (who would really be a potato – carbs; get it?)  Make sure you mix it up and get a little of both.

 

  • Don’t Pig Out.  Want a piece of cake? Have one. Just be sure you don’t overdo it. And never ever ever use food to make you feel better.  Anger eating, bored eating, stress eating, and sad eating need to become mere memories. It’s hard. We know it’s hard! And we still slip into stress/bored eating on occasion. But replacing emotional eating with healthier coping skills will make you a better, thinner person in no time.

Once we figured out how to make the Cupcake Time Diet work, we started doing this. Did we still have a few days when the Peanut M&Ms won? You bet. But it’s all part of the learning curve. And although we’ve struggled with having to eat vegetables and reminding ourselves to use our support person (instead of a cake) to make it through a bad day, we are learning! And if we can do it – we are confident you can (because we can be very stubborn when it comes to learning healthy eating habits).

Stand on the scale, calculate your BMI, and compute your hips-to-waist ratio one last time – decide which is the best measure for you – and enjoy the rest of your day!

The Satan Diet Works but We’re Taking It a Step Farther

Devil Diet - Eat OrganicWhen we used the Satan Diet, the pounds magically came off. There is no doubt about that. But why?  How are we losing weight when we’re eating copious quantities of food (albeit food in specific categories).  One reason is that we’re initially eating fruits and vegetables; foods that are primarily composed of water. Another reason is that we really haven’t found fruits in season (since this is early Spring) and we are picky about our fruits. There is one more, very important reason, however, that most people aren’t recognizing. It can be summed up in one simple word; chelation.

Chelation is the process your body uses to remove metal-based contaminants (such as lead, aluminum, cadmium, and mercury) via the bloodstream; then the metals are excreted in your urine (ew).  The levels of pollution in the air you breathe and the food you eat are astounding.  Many people claim these toxins are killing us via increased illness, cancers, and damage to your neurological system.

As toxins build in your body, you become tired, lethargic, more prone to illness, and susceptible to auto-immune disorders. Sherry noticed right away that she was feeling better when we added fruits and vegetables to our diets.  She found she wasn’t hungry as often and we both noticed her arthritis was doing better.  Well, to be honest we did a couple of things about that arthritis; Sherry makes sure she gets 1/2 a tablespoon of cinnamon and some local raw honey every day. We read those two foods could help ameliorate some of the  pain and swelling of arthritis. It seems to have made a little difference but then we added the vegetable thing within 2 months so we can’t say how much of the improvement is from what change – we can just say there has been overall incremental improvement. So much for the scientific method.

Anyway, chelation can be a horrid medical procedure if you have serious metal poisonings (think Lead Poisoning). What most people don’t realize is that our bodies also follow a natural process of chelation that is made possible by the foods we eat (or should be eating in any case).  We don’t even have to think about it. It just happens.  But the next time someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, simply say, “I’m sorry, I’ll be busy chelating at that time and won’t be able to do that for you.”  They will walk away truly confused, yet satisfied that you are indeed busy with important work that they won’t dare question and you’ll have time for that book you’ve been trying to get to  (or a nap).

Anyway, chelation is the largest case against junk food.  Eating processed foods all day can fill you up and make you invariably happy but these foods don’t have what it takes to encourage chelation in your body.  The more you fill up on tasty junk food, the more over-burdened your body will be with the buildup of toxins. You need to eat a variety of food to assist your body with chelation.  Here are the foods that matter:

  • Pectin occurs naturally in lots of fruits and vegetables and has been found to chelate heavy metals and other toxins from your body.  Good sources of natural pectin include apples, grapes, beets, carrots, bananas, cabbage, and the pith (that icky white part) of citrus fruits.
  • Cilantro (and the coriander seed it produces) not only perform normal chelation functions but are said to cross the blood-brain barrier and remove metals from the brain. This could be very important to potential Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s sufferers as experts continue to research the link between increased metals in the brain and these two diseases.  Right now experts only state there is some type of protein-metal interaction that takes place to keep us free of these diseases and the jury is still out regarding what is genetic and what is environmental. There is no proof that eating cilantro or avoiding soda pop packaged in aluminum containers will stave off either disease – but isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?
  • Cruciferous Vegetables contain antioxidants that increase the production of detoxifying enzymes in your body. These vegetables include staples such as arugula, horseradish, cabbage, kale, and broccoli and are rumored to also have anti-cancer effects – always a good thing.
  • Sulfer Rich Foods such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, onion, garlic, and brussels sprouts work to also remove heavy metals from your body.
  • Amino Acids are also natural chelating agents.  Your body makes 10 of the 20 needed essential amino acids (or proteins) naturally but you must use food to obtain the other 10.  Proteins control virtually all cellular processes so you don’t want to short yourself on them – and your body doesn’t create a store of them so you must get new ones all of the time.  Again, it is the interaction of proteins and metals in the brain that are the focus of research on Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases – so this is very important stuff. Amino acids can be obtained by eating meats, dairy products, and/or a rich variety of plants.  Nutritionists used to believe you had to eat a combination of foods to create a complete protein to derive benefit. This is why vegans are often working to ensure they have adequate nutrition – but that combination theory is out the door. You don’t need to combine to benefit (which made Sherry kind of sad because she was always careful to drink milk when eating Peanut M&Ms to ensure she was getting at least one complete protein. All of that work for nothing!).

As you read through this list of foods, you’re probably making an internal inventory and congratulating yourself on eating many of these foods already. Go ahead, be smug. You’ve earned it! And we hope you’ve made the connection between the Satan Diet and chelation.  Following the Satan Diet eliminates the processed foods your body has been enjoying and replaces them with more of the foods that support chelation. As you diet, you are getting rid of excess heavy metals in your body – so you are getting a detox cleanse free of charge.  During this diet you are not just losing weight; you’re getting your body to a healthier state of being.

But there is one rub. (Sherry’s turn to be smug.) Our food supply isn’t what we think it is. We have eaten Farm Bred and Atlantic Salmon without realizing we were also ingesting mercury and other toxins. We all switched from red meats to chicken in an effort to be healthy not realizing farmers are poisoning our chicken with arsenic (in the form of the drug, 3-Nitro) to enhance weight and skin pigmentation…oh, and to control diseases. When the FDA verified this back in 2011, the industry volunteered to conduct a 30-day phase out of its use – and then got caught again just now in February of 2013 when inorganic levels of arsenic was again noticed in chickens and again traced back to the continued use of 3-Nitro. No, my friends, there is no honor among farmers from the looks of things.  Now think about everything we’re learning about Monsanto – genetically engineered produce that harms us and food doused with heavy pesticides that can be absorbed by food.  The question often returns to – what in the world are we eating? Do we know? (Sherry smugly maintains that an Oreo is an Oreo and M&Ms are M&Ms so all that junk food is superior to those vegetables and meats everyone else is eating. Unfortunately, Sherry is chelating any time soon with this attitude.)

So, as a suggestion, if you want to boost the benefits of your Satan Diet, you can purchase  organically grown food during your diet week. This helps because you are actually aiding the chelation process by not adding any extra metals or toxins via the pesticides, arsenic, and growth chemicals used on our food supplies.  This organic food recommendation is indeed going to be part of our upcoming Cupcake Diet (still in the works – but making progress).

Good Ghrelin, Where’s My Cupcake?

cupcake puppyYes. This is the cupcake diet but that doesn’t mean you eat cupcakes all day long. What were you thinking?  You’ll get a cupcake soon. Now stop your whining!

We’ve been doing some research and it seems our idea just might be on the right track. Science News published an 8 month study that actually added a sweet to breakfast for the experimental group but those people otherwise followed the same diet as the control group.  Guess what.  At month 4 all dieters had lost pretty much the same amount of weight (33 pounds each) but in the last 4 months of the diet, the control group people gained 22 of those pounds back while the people who ate dessert with breakfast lost another 15 pounds each!

Yup. That’s what we’re saying. Cupcakes rule!  And if you read up on how not to grow like a Sumo Wrestler, you’ll understand why you eat that cupcake for breakfast instead of later in the day.  Apparently eating the dessert for breakfast not only satisfies your craving for sweets (meaning you’ll be less likely to cheat later in the day) but it successfully regulates ghrelin, the hormone that makes you feel hungry.

Even as we work toward a great new diet for you, we’re fine tuning and perfecting it so that you can lose weight without suffering or having to welcome the pounds back as soon as you’re finished.

The diet plan we laid out yesterday? It’s no good. We aren’t going to tell you what we’re doing with this until we figure out how to eat more cupcakes. So please be patient.

This morning Brooke ate watermelon for breakfast.  She is anti-seed. Well, actually she seems to be a bit anti-watermelon. The seeds may just be the presenting problem. She’ll know better once she has a chance to eat it a second time. Hahahaha  She’s now protesting as she thought that was the end of all watermelons on this earth.  How can she love all forms of watermelon candy and hate the real thing?  So mysterious!

Bye for now. We need to go bake some cupcakes.

Satan Diet Be Damned. We Want the Cupcake Diet ©

sad-satanReally. We’re going to do this.  Our small insurrection is evolving into a great idea. At least we think it might be. We’ll let you know as we go since we’re making this up as we go.

You are cordially invited to follow along as we create the Cupcake Diet©. We started out by discussing what has to happen for this to be a good diet.

  1. We want results! We do not want to diet for 3 weeks to lose 1.2 pounds or we’ll be dead before we lose enough weight for even our clothes to notice.
  2. We don’t want to suffer. If this diet makes us suffer, we won’t play.
  3. The diet must be healthy. We don’t want to hurt ourselves in the long term.
  4. The diet must be easy. We are too busy for complexity. It has to be easy to remember what we can eat.
  5. We want cupcakes!  We really think this is doable.
  6. Protein has to be involved because we fear hypoglycemia (the soup has meat).

As we go along and fine tune how this diet works, we’ll keep you posted.  Since we’ve loved the Satan Diet, we’re going to incorporate the portions of that diet that seem to spell success.  Success defined as being able to lose at 3-8 pounds each week if the diet is followed.

What we’ve got so far:

Day 1 – Eat as many cupcakes as you want in addition to the food you would regularly eat. This is your early celebration       for the weight you’re going to lose! Make a batch of Ultimate Soup.

Day 2 – Eat all of the fresh fruit you want with the exception of bananas.  You can also have ¼ c of nuts.

Day 3 – Eat all of the fresh fruit you want until noon.  No bananas. Eat only vegetables for the rest of the day.  But no potatoes, peas, or corn. Eat 1 cup of Ultimate Soup as an early dinner.

Here is what we’re thinking. We tried just doing a double down of the Satan Diet but 2 days of just fruit drove us over the edge. We were grumpy and cranky and had to take angry naps just to pull it together for the evening. We went for a walk to discuss things – and we just really think 2 days of fruit fruit fruit is not realistic. It’s nice to look forward to a warm meal for dinner and the soup is mostly vegetables with a little bit of meat so it met our needs.

The tulips are all in bloom at our park – it is a wondrous place to be this time of year. We’ll try to remember to take a picture of it so you can enjoy it with us.  If you try this diet out with us, let us know how you do. We really want this diet to be one that you can use!

Considering the Cupcake Diet

ImageThe long silence has been due to our insurgency. Sorry.  We decided to do a few weeks of maintenance by trying out a diet on a phone app. We spent a couple of days trying to decide whether to do Noom or Myfitnesspal.  We aren’t willing to use either of them.

No.  We don’t think they’re awful. We just don’t want to play right now.  Some of it is Spring fever. We have it pretty bad. We enjoy taking the dogs and heading to the park to play which sometimes gets in the way of Brooke’s homework.  But she always gets it done. Yay!

Anyway,  Spring brings the end of the school year and some adjusting that comes with switching from school to internships and trying to figure out how to get all of Emma’s and Jake’s stuff to Connecticut from New York in the easiest manner possible.  And this beautiful, beautiful sunshine!

We just can’t get our heads around a new diet regimen right now. But we want to keep losing weight!  After discussing this on myriad walks in the park, we have decided to shake it up a bit. So we’re going to try creating a variation of the Satan Diet that will let us lose weight and stay healthy all at the same time.  Today we started by doing Day 1 of the traditional Satan Diet. Yes. Fruit. Tomorrow – we really aren’t sure yet what that will bring. We’ll let you know when we get there.

We were going to start this yesterday but got sidetracked.  See, we went to dinner with Emma in New York on Saturday and, as an after dinner treat, went to Crumbs Bake Shop. If you haven’t been there, add it to your bucket list. We love that place! They specialize in making to-die-for cupcakes. Cupcakes extraordinaire!  They’re better than any cupcake place we’ve ever visited. They make these yummy cupcakes that are filled in the middle.

The first time we went there, we got a Raspberry Swirl cupcake, an Apple Cobbler cupcake, and a Carrot cupcake.  We shared them so we’d know which ones we liked best and left one for Emma to share with Jake.  We devoured the Raspberry Swirl first and were delighted to find it filled with gooey raspberry filling! Next, we attacked the Apple Cobbler cupcake and found the center filled with cinnamon apples! We were both in heaven and wondering where this bakery had been all of our lives.  After a refreshing glass of milk, we eyed the Carrot cupcake and decided if you only live once you should really do it filled with cupcakes on occasion. And the Carrot cupcake was looking so yummy!  Sherry stuck her fork in the cupcake – then hesitated and glanced sideways at Brooke.  “If the raspberry cupcake is filled with raspberry filling and the apple cobbler cupcake is filled with apples…..omg what have we done!?!?!?  I am not prepared to find a carrot in the middle of this cupcake!” We were cautious and ate all around the center of the cupcake. In a moment of sheer bravery, Brooke sliced through the center of the cupcake to find – only delicious cupcake. No filling! Those Crumbs people are so kind and wise.  Anyway, yesterday was another Crumbs cupcake day so the diet had to start today. And guess what! We both somehow managed to lose a little less than a pound each while feasting on cupcakes!

  Life is good.

Weight Watcher’s Points Plus Gains and Losses

ImageWell, we followed the Weight Watcher’s Points Plus diet in an effort to lose a bit more weight after getting fabulous results on the Satan Diet. We hoped to at least maintain our losses – if not lose more weight. We’re ready to talk about what we gained, what we lost, and whether we’d do it again.

 

What We Gained:

  • The freedom to eat what we wanted to eat. And we absolutely loved it!  Easter Candy was an issue for a few days until we clued in to the fact that 24 points worth of candy isn’t enough to sustain a person for the day.
  • The knowledge that those vegetables we are learning to like have less of an impact on weight than the apple pie and macaroons that we love so well.
  • The coolest website to go to if we need to know the point value of restaurant food.
  • The conviction that the weekly Weight Watcher’s classes are probably very important. They provide the social support and teach you the tenets of good nutrition if you will actually attend and listen.
  • The belief that this is probably not a terrible way to live….when maintaining weight loss. It’s rather inconvenient and it isn’t very effective at letting you lose weight. But it isn’t terrible, if that makes sense.

What We Lost:

  • Our faith in our ability to write down every morsel of food we ate. We would eat without realizing it (or eat and not record) so at the end of each evening we had to sit down and do reconciliation of points to see if we could have a bedtime snack. Brooke often felt like the crazy cat lady looking for bitty slips of paper with her food intake recorded on them.  She hates feeling like a crazy cat lady.
  • Two weeks of potential great weight loss. Ouch!
  • Not weight. Neither of us lost weight on this diet and we were convinced we would. Sherry stayed the same and Brooke gained 2 pounds.  We would lose .4 pounds just to gain it back a few days later. We kept waiting for the scales to give us great news but it never really did.
  • We lost our deeply held belief that a traditional, sensible diet is the way to lose weight and that crash diets are bad. Don’t judge us. Do the math or read about it here.  We have come to firmly believe you can lose weight quickly, spend that same period of time learning about altering your relationship with food, and making a commitment to long term maintenance of your new weight.  Then use a sensible diet as your long term eating plan. But lose the weight first if at all possible.

 Weight Watcher’s Points Plus:    1.8

                           Educational:   2.5          Doable:    2       Did we lose weight:    1

What’s Next?  This is our plan. We’re going to use the Satan Diet once a month to lose our 5 pounds of weight. Then we’ll continue to look at other diets to find the best one for long term maintenance. We don’t exactly love either of the two Weight Watcher’s diets for the long term. We know we won’t record all the food we eat every day. It just won’t happen. The Original Weight Watcher’s was hard to follow because it lacked choice and it was too strict. We are thinking we’ll explore the diets that come as phone apps and evaluate them next.  A lot of people have told us about them. If you know of one you’d like us to consider, leave us a note and we’ll take a look at that app. 

Satan Doesn’t Lie

ImageWe aren’t sure if this is supposed to be the Satan Diet or the Satin Diet.  We did a little research. It’s called the Satan Diet because you can “eat your heart out”; which we thought was kind of gross. We would propose changing its name to the Satin Diet because the weight just slides off; like when you’re using satin sheets. Wait, if it’s the Satin Diet we would probably just fill ourselves with chocolate satin pie – forget it. We are back on the Satan diet. Why? Because it takes weight off, fast.

Will the weight stay off? Probably, if we don’t eat a bunch of calories that we don’t need. We were able to maintain our last loss on this diet with the Weight Watcher’s Points Plus plan.  So, at least for the short term, we would say yes.

We know dieting lore says that crash diets don’t work for the long term. But we’re wondering who decided that for everybody. We were actually talking the other day about how, when you’re a teenager, people will tell you not to shave your upper thighs. They tell you that the hair will grow back courser and thicker.  Millions of teenage girls wander around life with hairy upper thighs until one day, logic kicks in.  Your mind cocks its imaginary head and thinks, “If I shave that hair off, it doesn’t matter how it grows back because I’m going to keep shaving it off.”  We wonder if this is the indicator that your frontal lobe has finally reached maturity. Who started that lie anyway?  The hair doesn’t grow back coarser, it is simply stubbly at first just like any shaved hair. If you wait a few weeks it’s right back to soft. Don’t believe us? Try it.

The same principle can be applied to crash diets (in our opinions). Do the math. Say you diet on a sensible long term plan for 6 months and, through persistence and your staid ability to not cheat, you lose 10 pounds. You stop dieting but, because you have theoretically learned some good eating habits, you continue to eat pretty well. Well, except you do revert to some of your favorite eating habits that you missed dearly. At the end of the next six months, you regain 5 pounds. That means that at the end of the year, your net loss is five pounds.  Unless you were extremely thin to start, no one will ever notice you lost weight.

Now say you use the Satan Diet and lose 5 pounds each week you’re on it. In that same six months, you would have lost 30 pounds (5 pounds each month as this is a once a month diet). If you’ve maintained the loss, you’ve probably picked up a few good eating habits along the way. At the end of 6 months, you quit dieting once every four weeks but you eat pretty well since you’ve figured out how to add fruits and vegetables to your diet – you hold on to some of your old eating habits because you never really gave them up. At the end of the second six months, you have gained 10 pounds. That means at the end of the year, your net loss is 20 pounds. Everyone noticed how thin you looked so you feel better about yourself and work to keep that weight off. And besides, you can always go back and visit Satan a few times to quickly lose that weight again. We kind of think the same people who lie to you about your thigh hairs are also telling you to never crash diet. Think how much better their lives will be if you remain fat and hairy!

The Satan Diet – Gains and Losses

ImageWell, the week is up and we have been initiated into the world of crash diets. This was actually pretty fun! We’re ready to talk about what we lost, what we gained, and whether we’d do it again.

We were a bit worried when we started the Satan Diet. We weren’t sure if we could really lose weight on it. We were both secretly worried about what we would eat on vegetable day.

What we gained:

  • We gained some free time! On the day you only eat fruit there are no dishes to clean! We were pretty excited about that. We only ate raw fruit so when kitchen duty started for the day it went very quickly and we had time for a game of Parcheesi!
  • A slight fondness for vegetables. We liked vegetable day better than fruit day just because it was nice to eat some warm food. But that meant dishes to clean so, really we only got a 1 day reprieve from dishes.
  • New hostessing skills. We had a friend over for dinner and shamelessy served him salad. He was gracious and said the salad was a satisfying meal. We’ve never served just a salad to company before!

What we lost:

  • We lost the food chart! This is a pretty easy diet to follow because you only have to remember one thing with a few extra caveats each day.  For example, eat fruit but avoid bananas. When we got hungry we knew exactly what we could eat – we didn’t have to refer back to a food chart at all. Simple is nice.
  • All respect for yogurt. We ate it, but we didn’t like it.
  • Our confidence in our love for tomatoes. We really thought our most very favorite day would be chicken and tomato day. When we bought the tomatoes we savored that green, summery smell they emitted. But we tired of that smell by 1 p.m.  The good news is we only had to deal with them for one day so it was easy to not cheat (much). We can do anything for just one day!
  • Okay. Go to your kitchen and find a 5 pound bag of flour or sugar. Either one will do. Hold it a moment. Now realize that is exactly what Brooke and Sherry both lost in one week!  Brooke lost 6.2 pounds to be exact (and remember, she did cheat on Easter with her candy). She looks great!  Sherry lost 5.2 pounds. She feels great but has a way to go before “looks great” would be applicable. But we are both thrilled!

Diet Details:  We would recommend you check your calendar before beginning this diet. Be strategic. If you have something special coming up that involves food – reschedule your diet or schedule so you can somewhat eat on that special day. For example, we didn’t do this and were chagrined to realize Easter was on chicken and vegetable day. All tradition flew out the window as we gave up dreams of leg of lamb with mint sauce and even ham. We ate chicken and vegetables. It was nice.  Brooke cheated and ate a bunch of Easter candy but it did not destroy her diet. Yay!

Satan Diet:   4.7

                        Educational:   4         Doable:    5          Did we lose weight:  5

What’s Next?  Call us crazy but we kind of liked this diet. It was relatively easy, simple to follow, and we really got results! We’re thinking we’ll use Weight Watchers Plus for the next few weeks and then hop back on the Satan Diet train for another spin around the block. Brooke is a bridesmaid in a few months and wants to look perfect in her dress. Her weight loss goal is 20 more pounds.