Oops! I Ate It Again

Image

Happy Keister!!!

Happy Easter! If you don’t celebrate the resurrection, you should at least celebrate the candy. We love Easter candy, except for Peeps. We don’t love Peeps so much. In fact we love to play Warrior with our Peeps. You take two Peeps and put them on a plate and stick toothpicks in the chest of each Peep so they look as if they’re wielding swords. Place in microwave. Turn on microwave and watch the Peeps battle it out! It’s very fun but it renders the Peeps inedible. Well, they were inedible already so no big deal.  Easter candy is fun! We also love to take the Malt Ball brand Robin’s Eggs and suck (or lick) one end. Then use it just like lipstick. The white makes us look like hip, cool seventies chicks. The blue makes us look like zombies. The yellow is just ugly and doesn’t go with anything. The pink is boring. Stick to white and blue for all your Easter fashion needs. You won’t be sorry.

Easter morning was pretty eventful. Brooke nabbed her basket and downed quite a few choice pieces of candy before she remembered the Satan Diet does not allow for such unbridled antics. Remembered. Ha. Sherry is pretty sure she planned it. Smart little Brooke!  Emma, Jake, and Brooke enjoyed an Easter Egg hunt and found most of the colorful, foil-covered eggs. In an annual show of holiday cheer, they split the eggs evenly among themselves. Jake is new to this (being a boyfriend and everything) and thought everyone was just being nice and sharing candy with him as they provided him with “his share” of chocolate eggs. He didn’t notice that Emma only shared her green and blue eggs and Brooke only shared her pink ones.  He generously began sharing his candy until Sherry clued him in. Brooke and Emma simply smiled and took advantage.  Everybody has some memory of Easter candy they try to pass on to their children. Our bunny always tucks some candied orange slices in the baskets. He used to also put in these nasty orange circus peanut things just because that’s what he always brought Sherry. She has fond memories of trying to choke them down as a child. But the kids rebelled and the peanuts were replaced by gummy worms years ago. Gummy worms. Still don’t understand that one.

The Easter dinner of choice was changed to chicken (to accommodate the Satan Diet) so Brooke’s faux pas with the candy did not leave her completely finished dieting for the day. We complimented the chicken with lots of vegetables.

For Easter we thought we’d leave you with a couple of weight loss tips that can really save you calories:

  • If you put something in your mouth that just doesn’t taste good. Remind yourself, “Not worth the calories” and spit it out.
  • If you’re at the store and are dying to buy an impulse item. Think carefully about whether you can afford the calories – then tell yourself “no” in a very firm voice. If it works, you will save both the calories and the money. (Sherry usually buys it anyway. Her inner child is a bit of an anarchist.)
  • If you’re about to put something in your mouth that is high fat or high sugar, remind yourself that it will just be poop in a couple of hours. Imagine what it will look like. You might talk yourself out of eating it because who wants to eat that?

You Say Tomato, I say Yuck

ImageIt’s the night before Easter and we are terrified. How do we survive Easter without our annual dose of candy!?!?!  We love Easter Bunny food! And today was a pretty hard day. We were so excited for chicken and tomato day but the reality is this: chicken is hard to eat for breakfast. We prefer the chicken’s progeny for breakfast: you know; the humble egg.

Do you decorate Easter Eggs? We love decorating them and then cracking them open and making egg salad sandwiches. Egg salad on toasted wheat bread. That is the best! And yet another Easter tradition we have to forego this Easter. ** Sad Face**. This weekend we will have to wait to eat our sandwiches and candy until Tuesday. It makes us sad but we’re willing to make the sacrifice because the Satan Diet is really working! Every day we watch the little numbers on the scales get smaller and smaller and we are very happy!

We’ve been willing to eat chicken and tomatoes but are so grateful this day is over. For some reason the chicken and tomatoes made us both a bit sick to our stomachs. We didn’t eat all of the tomatoes we could have because being nauseated isn’t very fun when we could simply be starving instead. The dreaded vegetable day was not so bad dompater to this day. And we were honestly looking forward to today. What a nasty surprise!

Anyway, we would suggest you look at your calendar before starting the Satan Diet. Make sure you don’t have a very tempting weekend or special occasion that occurs during the week. The diet isn’t so bad if you are using it during a fairly slow week.

So Emma told us today that we are definitely not picky eaters. It warmed our hearts. She set a new standard for us and everyone else: “You aren’t a picky eater if you are willing to eat everything Ben and Jerry’s puts in their ice cream.” Hey, we eat all of that!  She is such a good daughter and sister! Wait, this is what got us into trouble in the first place…

No Bunnies, Just Bananas

The greatest temptation of all

Surprisingly we didn’t really go hungry.  It turns out that a lot of the time when we’re “hungry” and have to eat right now, we aren’t really that hungry if we can’t eat something delicious.  Having limited food choices has  made us much more aware of how seldom we are actually truly hungry, as opposed to when we are simply determined to eat whatever scrumptious treat we have found.

Overall it was a pretty great day, but we are looking forward to having chicken tomorrow!! Wait, it is currently tomorrow! I’m going to go get me some chicken!

Satan Diet – Day 3

DonutsSo the poopy puppies are starting to recover. But they’re still pretty stinky and lethargic. They keep begging for our food and we look at them and say, “Why? Why would you want to eat this?” We have an ulterior motive; puppy clean up is pretty bad right now. But we got to eat both fruits and vegetables today and it honestly wasn’t that bad! We were surprised that this stuff is pretty filling.  Neither of us got hungry. (Well, of course not. We could eat all we wanted.) Problem is, a nice salad just isn’t the same as a piece of pie. We really and honestly miss our sugar.

Around 5:30 p.m. we start thinking and talking about food. But only sugary, yummy foods. We added cranberries to our salad to make us feel better about the sugar thing at dinner time. It worked for Sherry but not for Brooke. Why do old people like cranberries anyway? We took our minds off of yummy food by heading out to Marshalls for some shopping. We came home with a pretty new dress for Brooke and a bag of caramels. But we have not touched them! They are a treat for some future day – after we’ve lost a few pounds and need to celebrate.

Are we the only ones that celebrate with food? We seem to do this a lot and eating food to celebrate weight loss seems somewhat sadistic at this point.  When Sherry was working on her doctorate, we would celebrate small milestones by going to get ice cream or donuts. We do the same with Brooke and law school. We still haven’t found a great donut place in Connecticut – but we are determined to do so!

The donut shop where we used to live makes the donuts fresh, while you wait. It’s pretty awesome to see them move from the rising racks to the innocuous looking river of molten oil. They plop in and meander about halfway through the river before a little gate flips them over so they can cook on the other side. As they finish the trip down the river, they’re a nice golden brown. They slowly catch onto the conveyer belt that pulls them out of the oil and carries them to the waterfall of icing.  As they turn the corner the employee scoops them up and gives everyone a free donut while they wait for their orders. So yummy! The donut shop was called Krispy Kreme.  We heard there was a Krispy Kreme here in Connecticut, at Mohegan Sun.

We jumped in the car for an afternoon adventure to find this Mohegan Sun place and take part in the donut making ritual. And we found a gas station that sells Krispy Kreme donuts – but does not make them onsite. We still bought some and had a tiny donut feast before heading back home. We found ourselves in Rhode Island (directionally challenged? yes we are!) and had to turn around and get a second order of donuts for the real trip back home.  We sure wish we had a real donut shop here! But not this week. We are determined to stay true to this diet and so far it’s been relatively easy.

Green Skittles Are a Vegetable

Green SkittlesWe woke up to the strangest smell….not a good one. In fact, a really really bad one. It lead us to the shower. You see, our dogs (Maggie and Cici) love to sleep in the shower. They think of it as their personal cave. At night we open the shower door, throw in two dogs and a fluffy dog towel and they’re good to go until morning.  Not this morning, though. The dogs seem to have contracted the doggy flu to celebrate Vegetable Day of the Satan Diet. Honestly, it’s more like a bout of doggy dysentery. We call it the poopy puppy syndrome. Poor puppies.

It’s not enough that we already have a strong dislike for vegetables, now we have a strong psychological pairing of them with that really really bad smell. It was pretty horrific. Two hours later, we had clean dogs, a clean shower, a clean bathtub, scarred psyches, and sick stomachs. The fluffy dog towel took a trip to the garbage can and is now enjoying an adventure-filled ride to the dump. And the smell of cauliflower for breakfast just about killed us.

We made pot roast last Fall. We merrily filled the crock pot roast with spices, potatoes, carrots, and pot roast. We ate the roast and the potatoes but neither of us like cooked carrots. Why did we add carrots if we won’t eat them? Well, they flavor our food the way we like it.  Anyway, Sherry thought it was fun to feed the carrots to the dogs. Maggie, an ungainly Shi Tzu, will stand on her hind legs and pirouette for a carrot. She looks like a tiny circus bear. Cici, the 4 pound poodle, was sproinging around like a dysfunctional rocket and was rewarded deeply for her efforts. If you have ever fed your dog carrots you will understand why this morning brought back memories of that happy day. It was followed by two days of carrot-induced poopy puppy syndrome. The dogs will never get another carrot again. Dog poop and vegetables are firmly paired in our minds for life. And here we are committed to eating vegetables all day long.  Oh the smells.

“I can’t bear to think of asparagus for lunch.”

“Mom, we really need to eat a green vegetable. We’ve made this commitment; let’s do this.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking. Green Skittles are a vegetable. I mean, they’re green and everything.”

“No, mom. Just no.”

“Think about it. They wouldn’t make them green if they weren’t vegetable-like.  And we like green Skittles.”

“How about some peas instead?  You like peas.”

“We aren’t supposed to eat them.  No corn, beans, or peas. But we get a baked potato for dinner. Do you think we could get away with butter and sour cream on our potatoes?”

“If you want you can do that. But I’m betting we wouldn’t lose weight.”

“What about green M & Ms? They’re a deeper green and if we get the peanut ones and drink a little milk we would have a complete protein.” (See, Sherry was committed to being a vegetarian once and was told she had to worry about making complete proteins in her diet. It was a fail, but she became quite adept at pairing all sorts of junk food (as complementary proteins) with milk to create complete proteins.)

“Nope. Not going to happen. If you keep it up, I’ll make you eat a green lollipop. That could be a vegetable, too.”

“Ick. Those smell like dirty feet. Guess we’ll have to settle for the asparagus.”

Brooke is the best break-up buddy ever!

The Satan Diet – Day 1

Fruit HeartDay 1 of the Satan Diet found us munching on fruits all day long. Breakfast was a fine meal of grapefruit and kiwis.  Lunch was drastic; Brooke was at school and her grapes got squished in her backpack. That’s the problem with healthy eating for a law student – her backpack is stuffed with books, papers, and her computer and there just isn’t room for soft, squishy food like grapes. It’s amazing how Oreos and candy bars can hold their shape under similar adversity. Oooo candy bars….we miss you so!  When Brooke found her mashed grapes, she gave up the idea of lunch and waited patiently for 5 p.m.  She returned home ravenous and with a headache.  A fine dinner of cantaloupe, grapes (unsquished), and pineapple (and a little angry nap) left her feeling much better. Progress update: she would not eat the orange.

An angry nap is a special sort of nap at our house. If you’ve a bad day or find yourself in a bad bad mood you just might be sent to bed for an angry nap. Angry naps give you a fresh start: somehow your reset button gets pushed and you usually wake up happier and with life in perspective. Once you have been subjected to one, you will see the wisdom in it. We now recognize the dire need for these naps and will send ourselves to bed when life gets ugly.

Sherry enjoyed breakfast and ate unsquished  grapes for lunch (working from home has it’s perks and today grapes was one of them). However, she never quite felt satisfied all day long. She, too, found herself with a headache at the end of the day. We wondered out loud if we were going through sugar withdrawal. Through the mist of two headaches we came to the sudden realization that everything we’d eaten today was sugar!!  Hmmm. Can you go through processed sugar withdrawal while still eating fruit?  If our headaches ever go away we shall pursue that thought.

We didn’t whine much today. We don’t really have time to not just get on board with this diet because it moves too fast. Tomorrow is vegetable day. We aren’t sure how we’re going to get through the day since we aren’t really very big on veggies. We are sitting here right now trying to figure out what we should eat for breakfast.  Thank goodness we have a few hours.

Weight Watchers Original Diet – Gains and Losses

The Elephant in the RoomWell, it’s been three weeks of the Original Weight Watchers Diet for us and we are ready to talk about what we lost, what we gained, and whether we’d do it again.

We were both excited the first week of this diet. We were doing it! We were going to lost weight! This diet created sea change in our eating palettes and those changes allowed us to make a few observations about ourselves.

What We Lost:

  • The beginning of this diet found us whining. We really did not like the restrictions it was placing on us and the changes that were being foisted upon our lives. We came to realize that, much like the grieving process for loss, we were experiencing a grieving process for our relationship with food. Everyone eats for a variety of reasons and a diet gives us the opportunity to redefine that relationship in a healthier manner. Using this diet aided us in beginning to lose our unhealthy relationship with food and move on to the next phase of dieting: aligning.

What We Gained:

  • We began to align our lives to better fit the constricts of our chosen diet.  We gained a new appreciation for breakfast; not the bowl of cereal eaten on the fly but the real sit down breakfast. We have found we quite enjoy preparing our breakfast and sitting down together to eat it and begin our day.
  • Brooke gained a new appreciation for many new foods. She now eats grapefruit, salmon, oranges, shrimp, and leafy green vegetables. We both committed to eat fish at least once a week. Our favorite so far is Cilantro Rosted Salmon; it’s tasty!
  • We never considered ourselves to be picky eaters but have gained new insights into our eating issues. We doubt we’ll ever eat onions or cooked tomatoes but we are working on expanding the variety of foods we will eat to increase the nutritional value of our meals.
  • Brooke gained 3.2 pounds overall.  Sherry gained 3.9 pounds overall.  The scale is going in the wrong direction! We had maintained our current weights for the past 6 months so gaining weight while on a diet was a bit disgruntling.

**Update**  If you want a diet that is very effective at taking off the weight, check out The Cupcake Time Diet. It’s a healthy and effective way to lose weight and is based on the latest research!

Diet Details:  We had a difficult time sticking to this diet. We even gave it an extra week so that we were out of the whining phase and actually following the diet. The secret for success on this diet is creating a very tight menu up front and then being willing to follow it. We did well the first week and both lost a small amount of weight. The next week brought stressful midterms for Brooke which left her not willing to follow the strict structure and her wanting comfort foods that weren’t allowed. The final week we enjoyed Spring Break in the Poconos with Emma and Jake. We really weren’t willing to closely follow Weight Watchers Original Diet while vacationing. We carefully packed our food calendar and the correct foods for the trip. And we ate the food (and then a lot more other food.  We found the best Thai food restaurant there!).  A veteran dieter may succeed with this diet but we just don’t seem to have the skills to cope with stress and vacations without using our deplorable past eating habits. Not yet, anyway. When life took over, we ignored the diet and the food calendar and then couldn’t find our way back for the entire day. This is probably why Weight Watchers changed their diet strategy and now use a Points Plus system that allows you to eat what you want when you want as long as you don’t exceed your points.

We started with the Original Weight Watchers Diet because we had heard so many people say they preferred it to the new Weight Watchers Points Plus system. If we were to use Weight Watchers again, we would choose the Points Plus system all the way. However, we learned more about ourselves and our relationship with food using this Original diet. We believe that alone is extremely useful as it has pushed us to commit to eating a wider variety of foods.

Weight Watcher’s Original Diet:   2.7

Educational: 5    Doable:  2    Did we lose weight: 1

What’s Next?  We know it’s important to lose weight in a way that redefines our relationship with food. There are tons of programs to choose from that may (or may not) meet our needs.  After much research and a long discussion about diets, we decided that perhaps some drastic weight loss up front might cheer us up and at least get us back to our original weights. We have decided to next try The Satan Diet.

Thank you to those of you who suggested diets for us – we really want to succeed at this! If any of you have a suggestion for a diet program you would like us to try, let us know!

Break-up Buddies

temptation in frozen form

There is a very good reason why all the weight loss guides suggest an exercise buddy or a dieting buddy or some variation of the buddy system.  You will need support while you break up with your best frenemy, delicious fatty preservative filled foods.  Just like a good friend keeps you from texting your lame ex, a good friend help you deal with a bad day sans Cherry Garcia.  In some weird ways it feels like kicking an addiction.  You constantly check to see if it has worked for anyone else, secretly doubt whether they are really happier for it, try it and realize it does feel better but keep relapsing.  This is why a buddy is so helpful.  They totally understand why you’re grumpy every time you drive past that place with amazing French fries, or the difficulty of finding a way to soothe your frazzled mood that doesn’t include calories.  For all the inevitable undercurrents of competition and jealousy when they’re doing better than you, there is also an incredible degree of accountability and commiseration.

The really hard part is that it’s more like you both broke up with the same person.  Unlike a real break up, where one of you has a somewhat logical and impartial view of the lame ex, you are both a little obsessed and unreasonably biased.  You could probably spend hours talking about how hard it is not to just go make those brownies and eat the whole pan, how good and warm and chewy they are.  Just like your friend who only remembers the good about their ex, it’s now your job to remind your buddy of all the bad things about all that food.  Like that it betrays you the very next day, that all that Chinese food will leave you with indigestion and awake all night with heartburn, and that all those empty calories keep you so full you don’t eat the food (i.e. fruits and vegetables) that give you what you really need.  For some people mottos like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” work.   For me, that just makes me shove a whole bunch of cake in my mouth and say “oh yea, oh yea?”, so this is not entirely helpful.  “Do you really want to eat that” evokes pretty much the exact same response.  But reminders of the things I actually hate about delicious but unhealthy foods, things that affect how I feel rather than just what others see, stops me dead in my tracks.

In the end do whatever works for you and your buddy, just remember not to romanticize your crappy ex.  It’s also important to make sure your buddy is someone who can effectively talk you down when you’re talking yourself out of doing the right thing, and that you can do the same for them.